TOP 13 SHOCKING THINGS MEN LOOK FOR IN A WIFE (Part 1 of 3)

I spent the last 30 days polling 30 eligible bachelors about what they want in a wife. Why would I do something so unique? I’ll explain, but first if you’re not familiar with what men want in wives, here’s the gist. This wasn’t your typical survey. I talked to blue-collar workers, white-collar professionals, and men of diverse racial backgrounds. The goal? To uncover what truly matters to them in a partner. Read on for the surprising results. 

This is the first entry in a 3-part series. Get ready to dive deeper into the world of male desires in the next week with parts 2 and 3. 

DO MODERN WOMEN KNOW WHAT MEN WANT?

Marriage rates are declining in the West. And people are putting off marriage more so than ever. This has led to a decline in birth rates.

Hopefully we can all agree the best environment for a child to be reared in is a loving, two parent home. My conclusion is that the decline in marriage and birth rates are symptoms of a root issue. This exercise suggests the root issue is that modern women don’t know what men really want. Some women don’t care what men want, and that’s fine. But it exasperates the problem.

SO NOW WHAT?

The objective of this article is to figure out why marriage rates and birth rates are down. And how to remedy the issue. Don’t misunderstand, I am NOT blaming women. This is simply an unscientific poll on the subject. This article is focused on marriage-minded folks. However, if you’re a Facebook dating connoisseur or use other dating apps, you’ll still learn from the dissection of interpersonal relationships even if you have no interest in marriage. 

CRITICAL DETAILS OF THE POLLING FORMAT

 As mentioned, I polled 30 eligible, single males on what they want in a wife. I also had them provide reasons for each of their entries. The list below ranks the top 13 responses in order of importance. Followed by an amalgamation of their reasoning for each trait. Again, this is NOT an attack on women. It’s an attempt to uncover the root cause(s) of marriage and birth rate declines in the West. As an aside, please comment your thoughts. I’ll share them with the interviewees. Without further ado, here we go.

1. LOYALTY: THE GREATEST QUALITY OF THE HUMAN HEART

The runaway number 1 trait in the poll was loyalty. One of the poll takers is a gynecologist. He said it’s biology for a man to not want to protect or provide for a seed that’s not his own. Which is something infidelity could result in. He went on to say that before medical technology could objectively prove paternity, having a loyal (more on this later) partner was the only way for men to have some level of certainty. 

I did some digging. Birth control was approved by the FDA in 1960, less than two generations ago. However, as early as 1850 BC, Egyptian women concocted a mixture that supposedly prevented pregnancy. But who’s to say how effective it was. 

2. YOUTH: WASTED ON THE YOUNG

 Let me preface this by saying all the men I polled are interested in marriage, children and currently don’t have kids. The responses may have been different if the demographic skewed older.

The ideal range quoted for a wife was 20–35. It wasn’t because the respondents wouldn’t marry a woman past 35. The main reason given for that range is the woman’s ability to bring a healthy child to term safely. However, a few respondents said they would forego having kids to build a life with “the one”. What’s interesting is that the respondents who’d forego having children all have brothers with sons. I asked them if they didn’t have nephews to perpetuate their family name would their answer be the same. All but one said yes. Very interesting.

The dilemma is that most Western young people don’t get serious about family until later. Maybe the saying youth is wasted on the young is true? 

3. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER, TRULY

This is the one many women are confused about. But here’s what the respondents say.

On a 1 to 10 scale respondents said they would happily marry a woman in the 5 to 7 range (average to slightly above), if she had other desirable traits. One respondent believes social media has warped women’s minds of what beauty is. He referenced excessive makeup, filters, bodily accessories (long fake nails are his biggest ick) and body altering surgery.

The fact of the matter is most people on earth are average in physical appearance. Why so many people are not okay with that is baffling. I agree with the respondent that social media is largely to blame. But I’d go a step further and put some blame on print media and television before social media was invented. 

4. PURE AS FRESH COUNTRYSIDE SNOW

Most the guys polled said finding a virgin is unrealistic in modern times in the West. But if given the choice they would select a chaste woman for a wife over an identical woman with sexual experience. The physician’s explanation of biology above is the best basis to explain why men are wired this way. As the doctor mentioned, prior to modern medical technology, there would be no way to prove paternity. And chances are a chaste woman is more likely to be a committed wife for the long haul.

I researched this topic. And the “Law of Chastity” goes back as far as humanity. Especially in societies with strong religious influence. And while most polled said they don’t believe it’s realistic, they all said body count matters. They said they wouldn’t want to know, but they would grit their teeth and accept it if she’s 25 to 30 years old with 4 or fewer “bodies”. The reasoning was they would expect a future wife to only have been in committed relationships.

Every respondent said they would NOT marry a woman who had a “hot girl summer”, “sneaky links”, a Snapchat account, or who was an influencer on any platform. Snapchat was an unexpected twist — hilarious. The youngest of the respondents said Snap is the “sneaky link” app because of exploding messages. As expected, every respondent said they would never consider a woman on OnlyFans, even if she was not doing sex work. One respondent, a successful M&A attorney said, “you can monetize on platforms like Patreon that do not carry the negative stigma of OnlyFans, so why associate yourself with OF?”

I believe social media and modern music have desensitized both males and females re: the sanctity of sex. Mainstream music today is hyper sexualized, so it’s no wonder kids are programmed to normalize promiscuity.

5. CLARITY OF: THOUGHTS, INTENTIONS AND LIFE PATH

This trait (being sober) was another one the group answered in lock step. A quote from an HVAC maintenance manager, “I just can’t see a woman willing to get publicly intoxicated ever being a great mother. I mean getting wasted (publicly or privately) is a sign of low to no inhibitions which likely leads to actions that will blow up the relationship.”

Another quote from a high school assistant principal, “There’s nothing wrong with a glass of wine here and there but getting drunk or drinking multiple times per week could be a sign of deeper issues. I’m guessing if she gets sloppy drunk, she’s probably doing hard drugs too. It would be too risky marrying a woman like that in my opinion.”

What I gathered is that an occasional drink is fine, but getting wasted like a sorority chick is unacceptable for a prospective wife. And, according to the respondents, by no means are drugs (outside of medical marijuana) acceptable for a wife.

Next up: submissiveness and femininity. Respondents had powerful thoughts on these and other topics.

TO BE CONTINUED LATER THIS WEEK…