TOP 13 SHOCKING THINGS MEN LOOK FOR IN A WIFE (Part 2 of 3)

Welcome to Part 2 of our series: 13 Things Men Look For in a Wife

6. LET A WOMAN BE A WOMAN: FEMININITY

Look, I get it. Women are shattering glass ceilings left and right, becoming CEOs, pulling in six figures — it’s admirable. But according to the masculine men I polled, that’s not the kind of woman they want to build a life with. All the respondents agree ambition is great, but across the board they say there’s something incredibly attractive about a woman who embraces her feminine side.

Here’s a quote from a respondent who’s a tech startup founder, “Women who enjoy cooking a delicious meal, take pride in creating a warm and inviting home, and dream of raising a family… that’s the kind of woman that ignites the provider role in a man. I’d happily break my back at work to come home to a wife like that.”

A quote from a respondent who’s a director at a bulge bracket investment bank focused on mergers and acquisitions, “Maybe it’s old-fashioned, but I want a partner, not a competitor. I spend my days in a high-pressure environment, climbing the corporate ladder. When I come home, I want someone who brings a sense of calm, someone who complements my drive with a nurturing spirit. Don’t misunderstand, I respect accomplished women. But there’s a difference between being accomplished and needing to be in charge all the time. I’m more than happy to trade grueling, 80-hour weeks to support a feminine partner who understands that dynamic.”

From what I gather, femininity isn’t about weakness (a lie perpetuated by modern media); it’s about emotional intelligence, empathy, and a desire to build a life with someone you love. It’s about creating a space where both men and women thrive. The man bringing home the bacon, and the woman creating a loving haven for the family. Maybe it sounds outdated, but there’s something beautiful about a woman embracing her desire to be a mother and homemaker. When I say homemaker, I’m not referring to a woman slaving in a kitchen all day. In fact, most men don’t care if their partner can cook. All I expect her to be able to make (regarding meals) is reservations lol. Don’t believe me, next time you talk to a higher earning male, ask him if he cares if prospective wife can cook.

Now, this isn’t to say that every man feels this way. Some guys want to be stay at home dads, more power to them. Other guys want an equal partner who shares their professional ambitions, cheers to you buddy. But according to the respondents I polled, there’s magic in finding a woman who complements their masculinity with her femininity. One female friend said it this way, “there’s a reason God made men more durable and utilitarian, it’s so they can do the hard labor outside the home” — hilarious, but not incorrect.

7. WHO LEADS WHO? COACHABLE

Respondents agree they want a wife they can coach, but the resounding sentiment was coachable in areas of their expertise. For example, the gynecologist said if he had a daughter, he would defer to his wife on female matters as it pertained to their daughter. His rationale was that he only studied to be a gyno, whereas his wife will have lived the experience.

Another interesting response was from a respondent who works for a hedge fund. He knows analytical and corporate finance in and out. But he would defer to his wife to manage day to day household expenses. Because as he put it, “She’ll know more about household expenses than I ever would. As we speak my assistant manages all my non-investment related day to day expenses. She has my credit card and even pays my bills. It makes my life much simpler. Hopefully once I’m married, my wife will take that role on.”

What I gather from this trait is guys want a wife who’s coachable IF it comes to something the guy is an expert at. But in some situations, it’s the wife who would do the coaching.

8. PEACE AND QUEIT IS GOLD: MEEKNESS

Let’s start with the definition. “Meek — quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive”.

For this trait I asked each respondent to give an example of a meek person in their lives.

Here were the top 3 responses:

1. Grandmother
2. Pastor’s wife
3. Volunteers (that don’t post it on social media)

I also asked each respondent to rank (1 to 3) the most important aspects of “meekness”:

1. Submissive
2. Quiet
3. Gentle

Interesting quotes:

“There’s something peaceful about being with a woman who avoids conflict. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for strong opinions, but constant arguments and power struggles are draining. Home life should be simple. It shouldn’t be like a root canal. A partner who listens attentively, respects my decisions, and avoids rocking the boat is incredibly appealing.” — High School Assistant Principal

“Let’s be honest, men have a primal urge to feel needed and protective. Having a partner who defers to me on decisions, big or small, taps into that instinct. Knowing I’m the one who takes charge and solves problems can be reassuring. It allows me to feel like the rock, the one she can rely on.” — Hedge Fund Analyst

“My job is demanding, full of loud personalities and high-pressure situations. At home, I need tranquility. A woman who avoids unnecessary drama and prioritizes a peaceful environment complements my lifestyle perfectly. Calm communication and a willingness to listen are far more attractive to me than an IG model who’s constantly bickering about stuff that won’t matter in 10 minutes.” — HVAC Maintenance Manager.

This concept is straightforward: Men and women have recognized our distinct communication styles since ancient times. It’s one of the ways we complement each other.

9. I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GIVEN! HYGIENE?!

This should be a given, but the respondents ranked it because according to them they run into this issue fairly often. As men we don’t understand the feminine reproductive system from a hygienic standpoint, so I avoided that topic altogether. However, it was interesting to learn that daily showers are not the norm for numerous modern-day, adult women. Granted, an unkept man likely emits a more rank odor than an unkept woman (feminine reproductive system aside), but I was shocked to learn of the hygiene habits of many modern, adult women.

Shocking: A funny tale from the funk side…

“I went on a date with an associate attorney once. She was cute and put together (so I thought). We were vibing having drinks and Latin fusion appetizers for Sunday brunch in Tribeca. After a few rounds, the conversation started flowing as freely as the mimosas. But as we chatted about our favorite hidden vacation spots, I noticed a peculiar odor wafting in the air. At first, I brushed it off, attributing it to that unmistakable Tribeca, street aroma in late spring. But as the conversation progressed, the funk grew stronger. Invading my nostrils like a shameless telemarketer.

Maintaining my composure, I glanced around, searching for the source of the stench. To my horror, I realized it was emanating from my date — the seemingly put-together attorney.

The funk was bad enough that I knew there was no future for us. Rather than cut bait and leave, I shifted the conversation to funny hygiene mishaps. If nothing else I was determined to get a laugh in exchange for enduring the torture. I asked her if she kept a change of underwear at the office for when she pulled all-nighters (a common practice for junior bulge bracket law associates). *At this point we’re both buzzed from the mimosas* She answered yes. Then said there’ve been times she’s showered only once in like 10 days! The worst part is she said it like it was something to be proud of, like a badge of honor. Granted she was tipsy and probably wouldn’t have shared that sober. But at this point I was not only unattracted to her, I was thinking she may need therapy. No matter how many all-nighters I pulled as a junior banker, I never went beyond 2 days without a proper shower.

Thankfully we were at the corner end of the patio, otherwise she could’ve ruined other people’s Sunday brunch. It was uneventful after that, we parted ways and as a joke/reminder I saved her number in my phone using the “hazardous materials” emoji three times in a row. You know how if you go to a pig farm it stinks for the first 15 minutes then you get used to the smell and no longer notice? I think that’s why she didn’t smell her own funk. That hit harder than a seasoned pugilist. I’d guage she was on day 5 to 8 without a shower. Morale of the story, do not underestimate hygiene, EVER.” — Bulge Bracket Investment Banker

In the final installment of this article, we’ll cover tattoos among other things. Comment your thoughts so far. I’m interested in your opinion.

TO BE CONTINUED LATER THIS WEEK…