Why Boss Babes Don’t Get “Chosen”

Well, folks it’s happening. Modern, independent women are destroying the family unit. Granted, they’re shattering glass ceilings, infiltrating boardrooms, and working in STEM fields. But amidst the power suits and killer presentations, a whisper persists: Can a woman be both hyper-competitive and…feminine? Is the “smile test” on dating apps doomed for the Sheryl Sandbergs of the world? Let’s dissect this societal stereotype and ask, does ambition come at the cost of cuffing season success?

The Myth of the Fragile Flower:

First, let’s dismantle the outdated notion of femininity as a delicate flower wilting under the harsh light of ambition. Femininity isn’t about fluttering eyelashes and damsel-in-distress scenarios. It’s a spectrum encompassing strength, confidence, and yes, even a killer instinct when necessary. Think of an agriculture age woman waking up before dawn to complete farm-hand work, then preparing breakfast for the family all the while caring for children without modern day medicine or the internet to entertain her. Was she a fragile flower? Absolutely not.

The Falsity of the Allure of the Alpha Woman:

Institutions like Northwestern University have published studies suggesting that men are increasingly attracted to successful women. There could be nothing further from the truth. It seems like modern times and institutions are attempting to rewire our nature, reversing the roles of male and female. The fact of the matter is that men are intended to provide and protect, and women are intended to nurture. You must ask yourself, why does the media push the opposite? Definitely something to ponder.

But is There a Tipping Point?

Of course, there’s always a balance. Working 80-hour weeks and neglecting your personal life might leave you too exhausted to even consider dating, let alone find the energy to flirt. Remember, even the most alpha woman needs downtime to recharge and connect with others. The key lies in finding a partner who thrives on your ambition, not feels threatened by it. And let’s be honest, there’s a reason when given the choice men go into professions about “things” and women go into professions about “people” — we cannot fight our nature.

Beyond the “Smile Test”:

Dating apps notorious for the infamous “smile test” might not be the best hunting ground for ambitious women. Swiping through countless faces based on a fleeting impression might not be the best way to find someone who appreciates her drive. I’ve interviewed hyper successful women who’ve used platforms like Raya, under the impression that their success and career achievements would be valued by hyper successful men. But the truth is that the more success men achieve, the less they care about their prospective partner’s success. Furthermore, successful men typically will choose an inexperienced, young, female retail worker to an ambitious boss babe. Why you ask? Because since the dawn of time it’s been a man’s role to provide and when you remove that utility, a man will struggle to find his utility.

Redefining Femininity for the Modern World:

Ultimately, the question isn’t whether ambition undermines femininity. It’s about redefining femininity for the 21st century. Femininity is a kaleidoscope of strengths, including ambition, compassion, confidence, and a nurturing spirit. It’s about embracing your whole self, the driven executive and the woman who can make you laugh until your sides hurt. But is it possible for a woman to spend her daytime hours swimming with corporate sharks to then trade in her teeth for a nurturing, loving spirit?

Here’s the Real Truth:

The woman who chases her dreams, who negotiates like a man, and who holds her own in the boardroom is more masculine than the schoolteacher or homemaker. In fact, she’s more times than not less attractive to a partner who seeks a wife and mother to his children, and a soulmate for life’s adventures.

So, ladies, there’s no shame in being ambitious, but understand it could undermine your biological wiring to nurture children and grow a family. Remember to consider what the guy you want wants in a mate. I promise you, any masculine, traditional man does not want to date/marry himself, he wants a feminine homemaker to bare his children and eventually grow old with. But don’t take my word for it, look around and see for yourself — remember, the exception doesn’t make the rule, the same way that it’s possible for any of us to win the lottery, but the majority of us will not.

What are your thoughts? Boss babes, weigh in, why are you still single with no real prospects in site? Might it be because the men you want don’t want you? Food for thought, for us all. All love. Can you tell in the image who’s the boss babe and who’s the housewife?